Dr. Gary Chapman in His book «The 5 Love Languages» mentions 5 ways people receive and give love. Because the background of each individual is different, it affects how we receive and give love. Generally the ways we feel loved are through speaking kind and loving words, through spending quality time together, through giving and receiving of gifts, through loving touches or hugs, and through serving each other.
We all have been created differently, in ability and in conditionally. We grow up in different environments and are taught different values. In order to have a strong relationship between two people, they need to have a deeper understanding and acceptance of each other. This includes understanding the different love languages. In these five love languages, not everyone has the same sense of each type of expression. As the result, not every one uses the same love languages to express their love for others. We tend to express our love through the ways we have received it. But the problem is the way we express it is not necessarily the way others would receive it. For the love to flow between each other, it is essential to understand the love language your companion uses and give the right type of love language for that person. For example, in Chinese culture, parents tend to express love through serving the family, instead of using words. In my married life, my husband would ask me if I love him in the first few years of marriage. I would think you should know that through what I do for you. Obviously, his way to receive love is different from the way I give it. When I don’t give the right type of love, his need won’t be filled and the relationship won’t be as secure.
In these five types of love language, the intensity of the need of each type in each individual is not the same. So, to be filled with right type of love for others will help them feel satisfied. We all need to receive in order to fill our love container, and we need to receive constantly to keep the container full. If we don’t receive for a while, the container will drain out through emotional consumption. This is how we experience human love.
Similarly, we can apply these five types of love language to the relationship we have with God. When we read and meditate upon God’s Words, it is the love words which God speaks to us. When we see or hear confirmation from someone, that is the love expression from God.
When we pray and have a conversation with God, it is the quality time we spend with God. When we meditate to waiting for God’s inspiration and enjoy the present of God, it also the quality time we spend with God. When we are inspired by God and gain the knowledge of Him, the joy and peace within us or the miracle we experience, they are the grace of God and the gifts we receive from Him.
Human are gregarious creatures. We are all supported by each other in our living. The food we eat it supported by others, the farmers, processors, distributors and stores. The house we live was built by someone, and emotionally we are all supported by each other and it is unhealthy to be isolated socially. God arranges all this. He sustains us in our life. He serves us all the time.
Some of you might experience the joy of feeling touched by some spirit and we don’t know what that is. This is the love from God by touching our soul. When God touches our soul, it has the same feeling as when someone give us a hug. It is a spiritual touch.
So how do we express our love to God and build a deeper relationship with Him? We can use similar love languages by praying and meditating often, so we can spend quality time with Him. We can appreciate and praise Him to express our loving words to Him. We can give up excessive attachment to material things as gift to Him. We can keep our minds fixed and grounded in God and follow His commandments. Remembering Him is the spiritual way we connect our heart with Him. We can serve people and serve His Cause to show our love for Him.
God’s love is very different from the love between mankind. The container of love for mankind need to constantly be filled, otherwise it will drain out. The love of God is like a fountain, when we find it and maintain the condition, the flow of will keep coming and overflow for us to love other. Love is a feeling. We need be able to feel it in order to say we love. The love between mankind and God is similar too. We can not say we love Him if we don’t feel the love flow. The flow of love from God sustains our joy and peace, and it is the source of love so we can love others more. We can feel deeper grace when we have a deeper relationship with Him. God’s love is a hidden treasure and it has all. It really has it all.
For every one of you his paramount duty is to choose for himself that on which no other may infringe and none usurp from him. Such a thing, and to this the Almighty is My witness, is the love of God, could ye but perceive it. (Gleanings from the Writings of Bahá’u’lláh 123)